Monday, December 15, 2014
John Steinbeck on Falling in Love
Read the article distributed in class titled "John Steinbeck on Falling in Love: A 1959 Letter." It is a short article with a letter written by Steinbeck as a response to his son, Thom who has confessed to "have fallen desperately in love." Evaluate Steinbeck's response to his son. Then compare this letter to what you would expect if it were you writing to your father or mother while away at college and telling them that you were "desperately in love" - would the response be similar? Finally, what is your idea, at your young ages, inexperienced yet in mature love, as to what you would expect real love to be and how it differs from what people call "young love".
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Being in love is a crazy feeling. There is no doubt that humans long for love and acceptance. The standards of what people who love each other do to make the other person happy have changed since 1958, but love is the same concept, nevertheless.
ReplyDeleteIf I wrote a letter to my parents telling them that I was in love during college, they would tell me a few things. First, they would be happy and excited to meet the man I fell in love with. They would caution me about keeping up with my grades while I was in college, and they would tell me not to do anything bad and have him treat me as I would treat him. All of the "parent talk" would come with this, and the letter would be extremely long and most likely a bit annoying. John Steinbeck wrote a letter to his son which told him that he was happy for him, but love is complicated. He welcomed the girlfriend in the letter as well, and that was very reassuring.
The main point to remember when dealing with love is that it is completely natural. In about middle school, people have boyfriends and girlfriends that they do nothing with and barely even talk to. This starts their love, but it is nothing compared to what will happen in the future.
Love is not all fun, easy, and wonderful times. Along with these good times come stress, sacrifice, and anger. In reality, husbands and wives fight. They still love each other, but they are just like anybody else. When people get married, the first night of their wedding is usually filled with joy that will still be present at times, but just about all good comes with bad. Forgiveness is necessary in a relationship, and more important than that comes patience. When a significant other is sick and needs medicine, tissues, or water every minute of the day, the other person must take care of them. When growing old, help is required. This is all done, however, because there is "true love" in these cases.
Some say that teenagers do not understand the meaning of "true love." This is not always true. Yes, teenagers confuse infatuation with love and end up moving too quickly in a relationship. Bad decisions are made a lot in relationships these days, as teenagers find themselves getting involved with sexual activity outside of marriage. Although these abusive relationships are becoming more popular, there are still many people who understand that love is tied in with respect of the other person, their parents, and their beliefs. These relationships last, and even though they have not had all of the experiences and hardships, some have occurred and strengthened the relationship. They will stay together and experience many good and bad times.
Other types of love show this same kind of relationship. Love between family members and extended family can prove that true love is being experienced. I know that my parents love me and want what is best for me. All of the embarrassing moments in my life where I had to tell my friends that "my parents will not let me do that" have made me a better person. Temptations that most teenagers face are limited in my life because my parents loved me so much as to teach me what is right and wrong. My parents love all of my brothers and I the same, and provide us with what we need. In return, I respect my parents and their rules.
Even though I get frustrated with my family members and friends, I do love them. We all crave the same love, and must share it as well. Love can conquer hate, injustice, and destruction because it is that powerful. If love is treated correctly and not abused, the suffering that comes with is will be worth it.
Grace, I like what you said about middle school love. It's so funny to look back now and realize how foolish those relationships were. However, while they may have been foolish, they were not pointless. As you said, "middle school love" really lays the foundation for the love that awaits an individual in the future. Without those experiences - or observations - in regards to love, we may be still be completely unsure of what love is all about. For example, looking back on our middle school relationships, we now realize that communication is an essential to make any relationship work. Also, getting to know someone by spending time with them is an excellent way to build up the relationship. Through these simple - seemingly foolish - experiences we are able to better understand love, and all that comes with it. Without these experiences, we would not fully understand the complexity of the topic of love.
DeleteGrace, I like your point about love between family members. Family members show deep love to each other on a daily basis, and support each other through difficult times. They want what is best for each other, and try to protect each other. Most of the best qualities of love can be seen in family life.
DeleteFamilies support each other when times are tough. When one member has a difficult time, the others help him or her until they recover. They may not be pleasant to be around, but the family is there for them. This support helps them through their time of need. I know that without my family, I would have had a terrible time while I lost my hearing. The support of my family reminded me that I was not alone, and that people cared for me. They reminded me that my struggle was temporary, and that it would be better soon. In this way, I believe that families show true love for each other.
I believe that true friends also exhibit many qualities of love. Friends support each other, stand up for each other, and enjoy each other's company. They do fight, but they reconcile to continue their friendship. There are some friends, friends of convenience, who do not love each other. They use each other as a means to an end, and abandon each other when the relationship is no longer useful. When friendships begin, it is hard to determine what kind of friend someone will be. However, they will show their true colors before too long, and one will know whether or not they are a false friend. False friends are unworthy of love, whereas true friends freely give love to one another.
When one thinks of true love, one often thinks of a significant other in a romantic setting. However, there are many kinds of true love. True love is seen in families and friendships. Love is found throughout life, and the benefits of love are indescribable.
Grace, I completely agree with you. It is unrelaistic to think of love as never fighting or having bad moments. In fact, fighting to a certain extent is actually necessary. That is right, I said it is necessary. Fighting shows the couples that love is not all rainbows and butterflies, sometimes there are rough times and tough decisions. These detrimental moments can show couples if they find each other worth fighting for and mending things with or if their love is not worth it. This in fact can validate a relationship.
DeleteHaha...Grace,mas I was reading your blog, I watched a commercial with some guy who rents from National because he doesn't get to interact with people unless he wants to. But he doesn't. So a couple thoughts streamed through my head. You said everyone wants to be loved. I watched this commercial and this guy obviously does not. It seems he despises all people because they just annoy him. This reminded me of someone, but I couldn't think of it. So I just kept thinking random thoughts. I kept thinking about this commercial, because it was very funny. But I realized there were more similarities between your blog and this guy. You said there is true love between everyone. This guy seems to not love anyone. But he must love some people. Granted, I know this is a commercial and isn't real. Let's assume it is real for a minute though. But he must loves someone. Whether it be his parents, siblings, friends. I still thought this reminded me of someone but it still alluded me. My mind is swirling with random thoughts. Then it hit me...this guy reminded me of myself. That's why I was drawing all these conclusions about who he must love. I love my family. But truth be told, lots of people have the power to annoy me. And they are very good at it. You all, do not annoy me. But it's just random people...just ugh. But yes while II kay not love anyone outside of my family, I do find it in my heart to love them (I know, it's crazy. I have a heart) but as I finish up my blog response right now, I'm going to skip back and watch that commercial one more time, cause I freakin love that commercial.
DeleteI am lucky enough to be able to experience true love everyday of my life. I have heard numerous times from adults that I have no idea what real love is or what it means to be in love. When they say this, I laugh to myself because they are obviously the ones who have no idea what love is. There are no boundaries to love, you can be in love at 5 or 95. Anyone who has the chance to experience love is a lucky person because it is the best thing I have ever experienced. I often find myself just glancing over at Tony and realizing how in love I am with him. Just last night we finished the Christmas concert for band and we were walking through the parking lot, and I looked over and just realized how lucky I am. There are two types of love, as stated in Steinbeck's letter, and I have experience both of them. I consider myself lucky because the horrible relationship I went through made me realize what real love is. True love is totally self-giving and it takes a lot of forgiveness. A real relationship will make you learn things about yourself, while growing with this other person. I have been dating Tony for two years, we have gone through so much together that I wouldn't be able to think of my life without him.
ReplyDeleteAlthough my parents are not outspoken about my relationship, they are accepting of it. They also realize that I am in love, and they wouldn't stand in my way of it. My mom and Tony have a very good relationship, the same goes for my sister. It's not that my dad does not like Tony, it's just that he's my dad. I think dads are all the same in that way. They saw how things were when I went through my previous horrible relationship, and they realize how good of a person Tony is. I think that most parents are the same in this respect. They know good character from bad character and they obviously don't want their children to be around people with bad character.
As I said before, I don't think that there are any limits to love. It's not like one day something switches on in our head that makes us able to mature love. I don't think that just because we are teenagers, Tony and I love each other. Anyone who has been around Tony and I together cannot deny that we are in love. We have often been compared to an old, married couple. I take this comment as a compliment because we are so comfortable and forgiving with each other that we can be completely open. I think that love is the greatest thing in our world, it what keeps us all from ripping each other apart. Love takes the few good things about us and gives us another person to share it with. I know that before Tony, I was extremely lonely. I can recall that feeling and it still makes me upset, I don't know how I stood it when I was lonely. Having another person to share your life with is such an incredible thing, one cannot explain it until they experience it. There are no limits or expiration date to love, any one can love for as long as they want at any age they want. I know that I love Tony more today than I did two years ago.
Abbey, your thoughts on true love are interesting to think about. I think that just because some teenagers cannot be trusted, some adults view all teenagers as immature individuals. They assume that young couples do not know how to participate in a real relationship and go on a real date simply because the same activities that they did with their significant other are not available to people today. Many teens end up in abusive relationships that they believe are real, but that actually just take advantage of others.
DeleteEven though relationships cannot be judged unless you are a part of it, healthy and unhealthy relationships can be detected by outsiders. You and Tony have such a strong relationship because you spend time with each other's families and hang out with friends, not only each other. When relationships are based off of two people, they cannot give their talents to the people around them together. Your sister and Tony were adorable during the play, and you can tell that your relationship is benefitting others. You two are also extremely involved with the school. All of these things make your relationship as strong as it is. It is true love, no matter what some adults may say to stereotype this generation.
Abbey, I too get to experience the same feelings as you. To me these feelings are ones I would not trade for anything. My family too is very open to our relationship. My dad really like the idea of Kyle going to the same college he did. My mom loves how nhappy he makes with becuase of all the sad times my family has been dealing with. My brother loves Kyle and Kyle loves him too. Sometimes when Kyle comes to the house, my brother and him will go upstairs and play Xbox the whole night, go outside and play basketball, or go to the baseball park and play baseball. At first I was annoyed hunter was taking Kyle away from me, but now I understand that Kyle is my brothers biggest role model.
DeleteI too was in many puppy love relationships that lead to bad experiences. These harm you for the rest of your life. It's sad becuase I have terrible trust issues from it. What Kyle does makes me forget about all the horrible times in my life. It truely makes me feel a lot better when he is always with me.
Abby can I just say that I think you and Tony are one of the cutest couples I've ever seen in my life. Personally, I think that your relationship is selfless. You both would do anything for each other. This is what anyone's relationship should be like. Anyone in a relationship should be selfless, loving, and willing to do anything for one another. Love is not about being in a relationship just to be in a relationship. Love is suppose to be about both sides of the relationship trying to better the other person.
DeleteAbbey, in all honesty, it is relationships like Tony and your's that make me have a great deal of hope that there can be someone out there for everyone. You guys are basically the walking representation of a relationship that happened when you were young and it works without a great deal of fault. I always use to say that it was completely impossible to love someone when you are as young as we are, but seeing certain couples makes me question that theory of mine. I see that love have no age and I agree with your point that a person can be in love at five or ninety-five. We all have a plan for what we want, but in reality it is always going to end up differently than what we expect and that also goes with age.
DeleteLove is the arguably most popular feeling in society. It is a popular theme of novels, movies, and people's dreams. Everyone of every age seems to have an idea of what love is and its importance. Preschool girls proclaim their love after the boy who was just picking their nose lets them use his sixty-four pack of crayons. Is this love? The answer is no because there is no depth to it, but I do however believe love can come at a young age.
ReplyDeleteI think Steinbeck speaks from a place of experience and care. It sounds like he loves his son so much that he wants him to take a chance, yet be prepared in case it does not turn out as he hopes. If my parents were that welcoming and accepting of me falling hopelessly in love, it would make me feel good. Instead of giving me a touching speech, my father would probably send back an application form for my boyfriend to fill out asking what place he likes to be punched in the least, how fast he can run, and the name and number of his dentist, but I think father's are protective because of love. I was watching a movie one time, which title I do not remember, but i remember the mother telling her daughter how a man loves his wife more than anything, until he has a daughter. My mom would probably tell me what she always does, "Chose wisely, Lauren, and do not put all your eggs in one basket."
Perhaps I'm naive, but as a teenager, I tend to see the world from technicolor shades. Anything is possible to me. Adults are constantly telling young adults they do not know true love simply because they are not old enough, but I tend to disagree. I understand the prospect of age and how it affects relationships. Older people tend to handle things differently than younger people, but can this really change the feeling of love? I do not think so. I will agree that many teens feel mere infatuation and something just shy of love, but I do not think that every case is this way. Sometimes I wonder how adults do not realize the feelings just pouring out of teenagers. I think the answer is their teenage love experience is too much in the past for them to remember exactly how it was.
I work with a lady who is in her thirties. Her and her husband dated all throughout high school, and now they have been married for over ten years and have a daughter. My aunt and uncle began dating after my uncle and his friend were inside the ECC foyer throwing snowballs at each other and one accidentally hit my aunt. Although many high school relationships do not last, these lasting relationships show the ability of high school students to form long lasting relationships and a love way beyond infatuation. Being in love requires mental stability that many high school students do not possess at the age, but some do. Therefore, I believe a real love can form in high school, but not all the love in high school can be a mature love. Everyone looks for love, but cannot find it. That is because love finds you. With that being said, who is right in declaring that love cannot find people in high school. No one has the ability to judge a relationship completely unless they are in the relationship, for only those two people know their intentions and feelings for their significant other.
Love is a feeling, just like sadness and anger. When one is enraged, it is not a common thing for people to accuse this person of not being angry or a crying person of not being sad. So why is love any different? A feeling is real to the one feeling it. Since other people are not experiencing these feelings and emotions, they have no place to judge what others are feeling since they cannot gauge the intensity of their emotions.
Love requires commitment. Some people may push the issue by saying teenagers cannot be in love because they do not have full commitment, but really what more is there to commit besides monogamy? Sure, there are engagements and weddings, but those too are honestly breakable. Sure, marriage may make splitting up more difficult and more expensive, but in the end the commitment is ultimately breakable, just like a regular relationship. Being able to be married does not define a relationship. Marriage is a celebration of love, but it is not the kinky way to celebrate love, for everyday two people spend in love is a celebration. A piece of paper does not define a relationship just like others cannot define a relationship and age does not define a relationship. The only things that can define a relationship are feelings and intentions.
DeleteLove is wanting better for the person you love, even if it means sacrificing your own. This deep of a love has possibility to form in every single person on earth. Some people may hide their capability of love, but in the end, you cannot run away from love because it will follow you to the ends of the earth, and if you love someone, you will take those feelings to the grave with you.
Lauren, my thoughts about true love in high school were strengthened by your blog. When you mentioned love as just another feeling, it said exactly what I was trying to say. One thing might make a person upset to the point of tears, while another person is not at all affected by that same happening. Love works the same way. One person might feel so much love from the way another person acts, while another does not prefer those types of actions. Nobody can say how much love is present in a relationship because everyone is different.
DeleteLove and infatuation are sometimes hard to decipher. Teenagers who think that they are in love for the first time believe that they have "that feeling," even though it is not true. Relationships in teenagers who are confused end up to be using and abusive relationships. Those who do recognize love end up getting married or having a serious relationship. Other than the church benefits that are received in marriage and the years added on, there are little to no differences between high school and adult marriages.
Lauren, I loved when you said that young love "shows the ability of high school students to form long lasting relationships and a love way beyond infatuation." How true this is! Much like the relationships you described, my parents also met in high school. They dated throughout college and got married soon after. Today, they are a beautiful example of the true love I hope to find someday. I think that so many times, adults assume that teenagers are not capable of love "beyond infatuation." It is true that many times, young people tend to see their first experience with love as "true love." Many times, teenagers see their initial partners as "the one." This is not necessarily wrong, as many times that is the case. However, I think that this is how teenagers received the reputation of being incapable of love at a young age. But I also think that teenagers need to be given the freedoms to experiment with love. It is true that many times infatuation wears a mask of love and forces one to believe that they have fallen "head over heels." However, Through a series of experiences, one is able to see the truth about love through their own eyes, as opposed to simply being told by someone else.
DeleteLauren, I like how you said that love is wanting better for the person you love. I think that it is true. The story about your aunt and uncle is so crazy. Its crazy to think that a boy who hit you in the head with a snowball in the foyer ends up being the one you marry. But, life does have a crazy way of working out sometimes. Some high school relationships do lack commitment, but theirs is proof that others don't and are in it for the long haul. I guess you really don't know unless you are in the relationship and get that feeling that it is serious.
DeleteLauren, I think your blog hit the nail on the head. Infatuation and love truly are two different things. For instance, a certain individual that Tony and I know very well is claiming to be in love with someone after dating them for two weeks. She also posts crude statuses and explicit pictures involving her and the significant other. Tony and I are able to just sit back and shake our heads because this is not love, this is simply infatuation. I think the main difference between infatuation and love is that infatuation is based around sex. Sex has become the main focus in so many relationships and it disgusts me that people think sex is the only way to love someone. These couples that constantly need to be touching or talk about their excursions with their partner are simply infatuated and it will be a hard road for them when they figure this out. Real relationships are built in so much more than sex. There has to be more substance to the relationship than just the physical aspect. I think it's extremely sad that society has taught our generation that relationships mean nothing and have made the term a one night stand a common term. I also feel extremely bad for the people who think that love is nothing more than a physical term.
DeleteLauren, as much as I don't want to, I have to disagree with you. I think that the idea of our first love is glorified past the meaning of actually having someone just being there and caring for you. As much as there is hope is young love, I also can spy many faults in how it is viewed. However, I cannot truly know if loving someone at a young age is possible if I have never experienced it for myself. I think that it is your own view and your own opinion that shapes your view on love. For right now though, I just can't picture people like myself waking up every morning and knowing there is going to be someone waiting to talk to me, someone to be there fore me when everyone else leave, someone that will just care and want to spend the rest of their life with me. I just really can never see that happening for certain people.
DeleteStories like yours, however, give me some kind of hope that it can happen. That there is some kind of hope that there is love for everyone.
One aspect of this piece that I really liked in this piece was the quotation, "Don't let anyone make it small or light to you." I think that this is excellent advice, as many people can relate to this profound statement. So many times, certain individuals disregard love as "just a temporary feeling." While this may be true in some cases, true love is a breathtaking experience for those who find it, and I think that more individuals need to be conscious of that. Even if one has never been in love, chances are they have imagined it at least once or twice. It seems that those who shame or downplay another experiencing love are the ones who have never experienced it - at least not truly. These individuals often proceed to disgrace the individual proclaiming their personal experience of love - often times, the younger individual.
ReplyDeleteSo many times, teenagers are told that they are "too young to be in love." This is absolute ludicrous. A teenager is a human being, and therefore just as capable of falling in love as an adult. "True love" and "young love" could very well be the same thing. However, it seems that "young love" is perceived as more temporary. The only thing that distinguished "true love" and "young love" is the fact that one must experience young love in order to find true love. It is true that teenagers have not had the same "experience" as an adult, but that is exactly the point. It is nearly impossible for one to find love without first overcoming obstacles along the way. For example, if one is forced to end a long distance relationship, they have learned the struggles that come with it, and therefore find themselves prepared for similar relationships in the future. This knowledge and understanding comes with the pain of experience. Adults cannot claim that a teenager must be older and experienced if they are not allowed to undergo these hardships firsthand. It does no good for them to simply tell a teenager, "You're too young to be in love because you've never fallen in love, so you do not know what it is like." Adults should allow teenagers to experience love for themselves. If it does not work out, at least they have a better understanding of what love is. Falling in and out of love is part of life, and in order to live life fully, this needs to be fully understood. Risks must be taken and hesitation must cease.
This brings about another point made by Steinbeck. He makes the statement, "If you love someone, there is no possible harm in saying so." I feel as if this is one of the most common reasons that some individuals never find love. It is so often advised "if you love someone, tell them." So why, as human beings is this such a difficult task? Why do we refrain from proclaiming our love for another individual, when our feelings are so strong? The answer is simple. Humans fear rejection. It is simply the way that we were created. We tend to predict the possible outcomes of a situation before any type of action is taken. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as thinking ahead can indeed save one from any unwanted consequences. However, there are some points in life when the risk is worth taking. There is a quote by Peter McWilliams that states, "It is a risk to love. What if it doesn't work out? Ah, but what if it does?" I love this quote because I think that it really captures the fact that love is a risk worth taking. An individual can easily deny themselves the pleasure of true love by simply refusing to take the risk of telling the person that they are in love. I think that there will always be that hesitancy there. Even if one knows that the individual loves them back, it is scary to put one's feelings out in the open like that. And that's okay. Some people are capable of overcoming their hesitancy, and end up finding that the feelings they have for their lover is mutual. However, some individuals are faced with the cold, hard consequences of rejection. Either way, I believe that it is incredibly important to refrain from shutting oneself off to love in general. No matter what one experienced in the past, things will not get better unless the individual is willing to try again.
DeleteSteinbeck's response to his son is very profound, and somewhat differing from how many parents would respond to their children. As to how my parents would respond, I cannot say. My parents are generally very accepting of the lives that we choose to lead, and I think that they hold a similar view in regards to love. My parents believe that it is essential for one to learn from their experiences, and I think that because of this, they would allow us to do so, offering helpful advice along the way.
Mary, I look as young love as a way to get to true love also. Young love is the basis of true love. In order to get to true love, one mush have that spark of young love. The type where you can not be separated from them. Like I said in my blog, I beleive Kyle and i's relationship was a product of young love. Love is always gonna start from a "gravity shift" pointless, blushing, starring, giggling, and crushes. I relationship cannot start without a little crush. Falling into a crush could lead to falling in love. Just as young love leads to true love.
DeleteMary, I believe that your thoughts on rejection are very accurate. Human beings fear rejection because it makes them feel unworthy or inadequate. This is especially true where love is concerned. If one proclaims their love for someone and is then rejected, their devastation will be hard to recover from. This is why some people do not pursue relationships that may not work out well.
DeleteI have a personal experience that supports this conjecture. Two summers ago after freshman year, I began working at our community pool. I met many new people there, and made new friends. One of my close friends introduced me to Brett Lanzel, a senior who was going into the military. Over the course of the summer, Brett and I became very close friends. We saw each other at work and after work, and went to parties together. As sophomore year started, his departure date drew closer. We continued to see each other, maintaining our friendship. The night before he was supposed to leave for his basic training, he asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. We have been dating ever since.
Looking back, I know that our relationship could have begun several weeks before he was supposed to leave. However, I know that he was scared of what would happen if I said that I did not want to be anything more than friends. The friendship we had was too valuable for him to risk losing, but he still felt that there was something more it could become. By literally waiting until the last possible moment, he made sure that any rejection would not hurt as much. Rejection just before he was due to leave would be easy to recover from because we would no longer be in each other's lives. He would be at basic training, and I would be in St Marys. However, he took the risk. He knew what his feelings were, and needed to know if I had those same feelings. He did not want to leave St Marys behind with any regrets.
Rejection may be hard to live with, but regret is even worse. Letting something as precious as love slip through one's fingers can become devastating. Each person is left with a host of unanswered questions and confusion. What would have happened if we would have been together? What if I had done something differently? Would they like me more if I did not have this character flaw? Why did I not see what we had, and pursue it? They may never find the answers to these questions because they lost their potential relationship. "Live with no regrets" is a common theme among today's society, and I believe that it applies to love. One should never be left wondering what might have been, but should know what was. Wondering lets one prolong the event, but knowing gives one closure and the ability to move on.
This letter to me couldn't be more meaningful. It gives you the sense that the Father really truly is happy and compassionate about his son falling desperately in love. They talk about falling in love as a wonderful experience that truly is the best and very meaningful.
ReplyDeleteI remember growing up hearing stories about my Uncle Jason. He grew up with this girl who was with him though his kindergarten years all the way to high school. It was as if they never grew apart from each other during those times. The both went to Penn State Main and saw each other often, but with a big campus, they lost the band that held them together. She moved back after college to Kersey. While he travel all the way across the nation to move into Washington. He said they sometimes kept in contact mostly on holidays, but he still never dated another girl, and she never dated another boy. A few years ago, my uncle moved back to St. Mary's. When he went to my grandparents house, a photo of him and the girl was on the kitchen table. He then met up with the girl and now they are married. Stories like these really warm my heart because it shows me that true love really does exist.
Now let me tell you about my love experience. It was the summer of freshman year when I decided to transfer to ECC. I joined the cheer team and that is where I met my friends Elise and Lauren. They invited me to a fire Elise was having at her house. Naturally, as teen age girls do, they hooked me up with a blind date. I had no idea who anyone was at ECC so I was very nervous. He knew who I was though so that was weird, we were also already Facebook friends.. awkward. Lauren ended up sleeping over the night before the fire and she made me message the boy and ask him about the fire. He said that it was going to be boring. So that's that. Anyways you know how some romantic stories say sometimes love at first sight happens along with a gravity shift, and the princess fall and make a fool out of them selves? Yeah I was that type of princess... I was upstairs and boy just came in the door down stairs. So Lauren, Elise and I ran down the stairs. They all made it down the stairs fine, except for me. I ran into the railing and got a big terrible bruise on my hip. Talk about graceful. Anyways this boy laughed at me and most likely thought what am I getting myself into. This boy is named Kyle Williams. Him and I were partners for many different types of activities, that is when my love story began.
I could go on and on for many more pages, but I won't put you though all of that stuff. Anyways, Kyle and I have been dating for 2 years and 3 months. Honestly it's crazy when you look at that, the time flies by. It doesn't seem like it has been that long. Sure we have had our ups and downs, but we have always made it work. He has been my rock though everything and he puts up with all the moods I am in which is very often. Love is something that I am very fortunate to have at this young age..
I believe that Kyle and I were a result of young love. He and I started out as young puppy love not knowing where the wind was going to take us. Now, we have grown together and developed to a point where we are almost the same person, which is wonderful to me.
Maddie, I agree with you that this letter is meaningful! I think all kids would love if their parents wrote them a letter like that. The story about your uncle makes me happy. It is crazy to think that after all the high school stuff they grew apart when they went to college. But they found each other again later in life, and now they are married. I think that is how you know it is true love. I'm not really sure if all high school relationships are true love, but I know some of them really are. You definitely are fortunate to have love at a young age. I never knew that you and kyle got together on a blind date! I would be so scared to do that, but after seeing this it looks like love can really come out of it, which is awesome!
DeleteMaddie, I found this so cute and also very relatable. I never really thought of the term "gravity shift" before but it is very true. My gravity shift took place over a two day span in New York City when I was with Tony for the first time. I think that as you said, true love stems from puppy love. It all has to start somewhere. I think that a couple has to go through the rough times before they can experience true love. I know that the fights and hard times have made Tony and I's relationship so much stronger. I think this is true for many other couples as well. Many couples give up as soon as they hit a bump in the road instead of working through their problems. As you said, it's so strange to think that we have been dating our significant others for over two years. But also, the good times we have make that time seem like nothing. A major factor that constitutes a relationship is being with friends and other people. I love Kyle and think that he is a great guy and I know you and Tony are very good friends, so it's very easy for us to hang out and do that kind of activities. A lot of couples just shut themselves in and don't talk to other people. Obviously this isn't healthy and these types of relationships won't last.
DeleteI think that Steinbeck’s response to his son is reasonable. He doesn’t tell him that he is just infatuated or that what he is experiencing is not true love. Instead, he gives him some constructive criticism about how to handle love. Steinbeck tells his son that if he says it is not puppy love, then it is not. He also tells him that if he is in love, then it’s great. One of my favorite parts is when he describes the difference between good and bad love. He tells his son that the love that is jealous and completive is not good love. Instead, you want the love that makes you want to be a better person. The type of love that gets better with time, and makes you want to be in love forever. I think that is the type of love we all want. I know for a fact that you can’t form a relationship off of competition, however fun it may be. It just isn’t a grounding quality of a relationship. A relationship has to be built off of real qualities.
ReplyDeleteAs for what my parents would say if I were in love, I would say that is a mix. (Considering that it is boy from college that they have never seen. If it was a high school boy then they would be different.) I feel like my mom would be really skeptical. She would be asking me a million questions. What does he look like? What is his name? Does he treat you well? When are you going to introduce me to him? Where did you meet him? How do you know you are in love? (and so on and more parent talk) I feel like my dad would be a little less skeptical. He would believe that I am in love, and want to meet the boy as well. I think his reaction would be a little more along the lines of Steinbeck’s. He would respect my judgment and wait to meet the boy.
When teens think about love, I think many times they only think about the good parts, myself included. I think that many people are in love with the concept of love. It looks and seems so nice to be able to have a boyfriend and someone you can say you love. It’s great to have someone you trust and can go to; the kind of person who knows you at your best, and your worst. The person that makes you laugh and smile. Its kind of person that you can dance with around the room and want to be with all the time. I think that is the point that Steinbeck is trying to get across to his son: Be in love for the right reasons. If you’re not in it for the right reasons, it won’t last. Instead, it will just leave you heart broken and bitter. Then, the next time you go after love, you will be a little more wary, and maybe a little resistant to fall for someone. But the way Steinbeck comes across to his son is so great. It is caring and informative, but in the best way. You can tell he is truly happy for his son, like any good parent should be. He warns him that love is not always rosy, but can be a great thing. I know that all of us hope to experience this someday. Whether it is in the future or in the present, I know for sure that love is great experience, if it is right. It is the single most subject that is constantly present in books, movies, music, and pretty much anything. Love can make you and break you. For me, I want the love that is going to make me, and take the good and the bad right along with it. And on a final note, I also really liked how Steinbeck said that true love waits. I think that he is right; if it is meant to be then the person will wait for you, and it will happen when it happens. Nothing good happens when it is rushed. So, I guess when the timing is good, love happens. The trick is finding that time.
If I were to write to my parents and tell them I am desperately in love when I get to college, they would be so confused because they know how I am and they know what I think about love. In all honesty, I can tell you all that I do not believe love is a real complete concept.
ReplyDeleteNow, do not get me wrong, I believe you can love your parents, God, your animals, but I do not believe that it is a certainty that we are all one day just going to wake up and realize that we fell head over heels for someone, who may or may not feel the same way. I do not believe that if we were to say I love you to that person, they could easily just accommodate to what was just said and simply reply how you want to hear it. I do not believe that we are all going to find someone who loves us for all of our flaws, for our obsessions, for our four AM anxiety attacks, because eventually it gets old and they leave. Then, they realize they did not really love you as a person, but they loved certain pieces of you or even the romanticized version of you. I just cannot honestly sit here and convince myself otherwise.
The main problem with the concept of love that we, as teenagers see, comes from social media and how it is romanticized to the point the it become obnoxious. We see the cute little gestures that boys do for girl like buying them Starbucks and getting them teddy bears (which I personally think is pretty cheesy, but hey whatever floats your boat), but they do not show the fights that take place and how much one person can hurt another just through words and actions. I believe that you can only love someone once and it can be symbolized by baptism. Until our baptism, we are pure from all sin, but after our first sin we cannot become pure again. When we fall for someone and we realize we are in love with them, it takes one situation to infuriate you into not loving them as much as you once did and once that love is gone I do not think that it can be recovered ever again.
I feel like my views on love come from my own glorified image of how it should be. I always use to see someone falling for all of my quirky little things that I do and I use to see myself marrying someone that I really loved one day. The reality of that though, is that my life is not going to parallel a Nicolas Sparks book/movie. No one is going to come running across the beach into my arms when they realize how much they want to be with me and that they were dumb to leave me for a whole WEEK nor will they claim to write and mail me 365 letters for every day that they were separated from me when we all know that there is no postage on Sunday. The whole idea of love is glorified and ridiculous at our age.
I'm not saying that my views will not eventually change. Only time can tell what will happen and what the plan is for me, but for right now I think love is overrated and that it is not real. I do not want to think this way, but I really have no way or reason to prove to anyone that love can actually happen. I see hope though, I see really great couples everyday that defy the obnoxious romanticized couple stereotype and give me hope that love is real, but at the same time I have doubts that I will ever be able to have that same thing. I think that Steinbeck gave a good reason to believ though. This is simply because he posed the idea that the best of things take time and should not be made small or light. I think that one day I will believe in the concept of love, but I don't think that day will be arriving soon.
I disagree with you, Jenna. Love cannot be desceibed by Nicholas Sparks novels because those are pure fiction. Although, the novels do have the idea when they portray love as something worth fighting for. The novels dramatize this key in love. Love is fighting for each other. In every relationship, there will be rocky moments, fights, doubts, and clashing traits within each other, but love involves figuring out that these terrible moments are worth fighting for because the good moments come with them. Many people tend to put a fictitious image on love as two people who never fight and are always happy, although too much fighting is unhealthy, love is not perfect because no one is perfect. I will be bluntly honest and say my boyfriend and I fight. We do not always see eye-to-eye. Sometimes, I wonder why we do not just give up, but then I remember all the good times we have and the feelings he gives me, then I remember that is why we fight so hard to keep a relationship. Many times there are not as grand of gestures of trying to keep your love as in Nicholas Spark's novels, but as long as you are fighting to keep your love, then that shows enough. Also, love does not come to everyone at a young age. My aunt finally found her love at the age of fifty-two. Love comes to all ages. Also you mentioned how when a couple fights and then they cannot recover again, but that does not change the fact they once loved each other, and deep down they probably still do, but they realize not all love is meant to be together. Just because a relationship fails does not make it a failure. In fact, failing relationships are the best lessons for everyone. Failed relationships teach people how to do things differently to improve relationships.
DeleteJenna, first off, I would like to say that this is brilliant. I could not agree with you more. I have always felt the way that you have but I've never taken the initiative to actually figure out how to express that, and you, my friend, just did it for me. Now I do believe that there are some couples, however, that can achieve the cheesy movie couple love but I never think that it is going to happen to me, and in all reality, I do not really want it to. Do not get me wrong, I think that couples are adorable and I ship them so hard sometimes (ship is a fangirl term that means one wants two people to be together if y'all didn't know). Actually I think it's really adorable when couples get to that cheesy movie couple stage, but I don't ever think that will happen to me. There are only a select few people who are as weird and strange as I am and I can tell you that none of them are guys. These select few members of society are my best friends that I would not trade for anything.
DeleteLove is perhaps the most complex of all human emotions. It has been written about for centuries, and artists of all sorts try to render it in different forms. Love is different for everyone who experiences it, and can manifest itself in many different ways.
ReplyDeleteSteinbeck's response to his son is clear, concise, and understanding. Steinbeck does not use elaborate words or attempt to define love and all its mysteries, but speaks in plain language that his son will be able to clearly understand. He also does not turn the letter into a lecture or place to speak of his own love. His son wants to know what to do about his love, and, as a father, Steinbeck tries to give him advice. He understands what his son is feeling, he tells his son that he understands because he also feels what his son feels. This is extremely understanding and mature of Steinbeck. Most parents would respond negatively to their child's declarations of love, but Steinbeck accepts that his son is in love and knows what he is feeling. As a father, Steinbeck gives excellent advice that his son can apply to anyone that he loves, even if Susan does not remain with him.
If I were in college and confessed myself "deeply in love" with someone, my parents would respect my decision. They trust me to do what I feel is right and good where my heart is concerned. However, my father would not have the kind of advice that Steinbeck has for his own son. My father would make sure I knew what my morals were, and tell me that he would protect me. My mother would give me advice, though not of the same kind as Steinbeck gave. She always helps me make sense of my situation and console me when I feel sad.
"Young love" can more accurately be called "inexperienced love." When people are young, they often have romanticized images of love because they have never experienced it before. The only information about love that the young have to work with is that which they are exposed to by stories and personal observations. However, the images they piece together are not always accurate. For this reason, many adults condescend the young when they say they have found love. They know that the know are likely to find that their perfect image of love is inaccurate or hard to find, and they want to prevent heartbreak.
Real love is not perfect. I personally do not believe in perfectionism. Love can be messy; people fight because they are different. However, when love is real, two people can always reconcile. Real love is the desire that one is happy and becomes the best person they can be. For this reason, two people who are in love cannot remain angry with each other.
I think Steinbeck's response is very good. He tells his son basically exactly what he needed to hear. His son did not know what to do, but Steinbeck in all his wisdom, gives his son some great advice. Many kids do not have a parent whom they can turn to. So this was nice to see. Even though this was written way back in 1958, it still has many ideas that are still very relevant today.
ReplyDeleteI know if I ever had to write a letter like this, which I won't, my father will just tell me to do what feels right. No disrespect to my father intended, but he always lets me figure out my problems in life. Sometimes, this is a very good thing as I learn valuable life lessons from these problems I must solve. Other times, I fail miserably. I still learn though. This was the case back in middle school where I had no idea how to make friends. I asked my father, and he just told me to do what I felt was best. I failed at that, because I slipped into a bubble of isolation. I basically began to just hate everybody because that is what I felt was right. I was really messed up back then by the way. I began to change though in 7th grade. It took another year, but that is when my father's advice finally started to change me. I used to think hating was right, but I pulled a complete 180. So I do appreciate my father's advice, just he is a little too vague about everything. Sometimes I wish I had a father like Steinbeck who would just lay everything out and all I had to do was just not stray from what he said. But I appreciate my father for everything he is, and everything that he is not.
Alright, now I guess I have to talk about what we think of love today. I think it is silly how kids our age think whoever they are dating, they will marry in a matter of a couple years. It usually does not happen. It is a really great story when it does happen, but usually those marriages end in divorce. So young love is just not something that seems to lasts. Like I said, sometimes people who dated all throughout high school get married, have a couple kids, and then die moments apart in the same room at about the age of 90, and they never wavered from their love for 72 years. That's a pretty great story. But the reality of the whole situation is, it does not happen that often. Young love takes the best of us and shows us someone we may want to want to spend the rest of our lives with, but in reality, they are only someone we should date for only a short period of time.
Nick I agree with you on young love. In our younger years, we see relationships happening all around. Many of the times these relationships only last a couple months or a year. There are cases where relationships last all throughout high school but then end when both paths break apart. My cousin, who is out of high school now, had a boyfriend for quite a while. He attend a lot of our family events and everyone got to know him really well. So many of my relatives thought that they were going to marry each other some day. However when graduation time came around he started to act different and they both realized their relationship would not last. I believe it is very rare that high school relations last beyond high school or a year in college, but as you said, when these relationships last it is an excellent story, just like the movie Up.
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ReplyDeleteMy brain consists mostly of song lyrics and movie or book quotes, however, it does not contain understanding of true love. My extent of knowledge on the subject of love is pretty much to the extent of my passions. The only thing that I know about love is of the love that is deemed "fictional" by the naysayers that suggest that the love in movies, songs, and books is not real. This "fictional" love is the closest I have ever been to "true" love, other than the love of my family members and friends who would do anything for me if I so asked. Who is to say what love is "true" or "fictional"? No one has the right to deem something as fictional or nonfictional. Everyone has their own opinion to whether their love is true or not so why shouldn't we let people think that they have real love if they want to think that? Everyone should have a right to their own opinion, but no one should be able to rain on someone else's parade by telling them that they know nothing about love.if someone wants to dream that they will have a love like Hazel and Augustus from "The Fault In Our Stars," then they should have a right to believe that. If I ever found myself so lucky as to fall suddenly so deeply in love, I would immediately be cut down by my parents telling me that I am young and I do not know what real love is. My parents are strict, but they are just doing what they think is best, even if it might be wrong. I could not disobey them like traditional people would in a movie or book such as "Romeo and Juliet." I am young, foolish, and know nothing about love.
ReplyDeleteI spend the little free time that I have watching television shows that others find stupid or irrelevant, but I learn a lot of values from these shows. What others do not understand is this I gain experience from these television shows. Others do not understand my passions so how could they deem something that they do not understand stupid or a waist of time. I see the love of strangers everyday through the television series that I watch, books that I read, and movies that I see, but I have never had the privilege of experiencing this love that they possess. I have seen love depicted from every angle: sappy love, forbidden love, high school love, old married couple love, abusive love, and so on. What these stories have taught me about love, whether it be fictional or not, is that love is unconditional. Love does not require any ultimatums that force both partners to do something for one another. They simply need to love each other for who they are. If love is true then both of the partners would put the other one before themselves. Both partners in the relationship would care about the other person more than themselves. I have also learned that love can change someone completely. Someone could be the most unkind, most rude person that one has ever seen and once they fall in love they could change their personality entirely. There is a perfect example of this in a book series known as "Dawn of the Arcana." In the beginning of this series, a spoiled rotten prince is forced to marry a princess of another country as a sort of peace offering. Neither of them want to marry the other, but for their countries sakes they do it anyways. The princess was locked up in a room for most of her life while the prince was being spoiled rotten. When they married, she would not stand for his spoiled prince ways. After the first couple chapters of them resenting each other, they got to know each other, fell in love, and then the prince turned into a nice gentleman who helped the people of his country. Whether you come from a background of riches or not, love can change you for the better. The final thing that I have learned from these tales is that "in the end, everyone ends up alone" and there's no way to know how long they'll be standing next to you (The Fray, "You Found Me"). Even though "love is just a shout into the void and oblivion is inevitable" we continue living and loving (The Fault In Our Stars). We do so because "we're all just stories in the end," so we might as well "make it a good one" (Matt Smith).
DeleteRaeAnn I agree with you on dreaming about finding a love that you see in books or movies. Personally, I have always dreamt or thought of these ridiculous ways how I would fall in love or the outrageous love stories that probably will never happen. As I have gotten older and have gotten to know more about love, even though I have never personally experienced it, I have realized that all love is a love story in the eyes of the lovers. The two do not need an exaggerated ending because in their eyes all that matters is that they have found each other.
DeleteHaha...Buchs I must say I enjoyed your quotes. I thought those were really great. They actually sum everything up pretty nicely. In the end, everybody does end up alone. That pretty sad to think about, but that's how it is. Sometimes life just roles on. Actually life rolls on no matter what happens. I think your quite about Matt Smith really sums all of this crap up. In the end, we write our own stories. Nobody else is pulling the strings. There is no grand lord of all to run our lives. It would be nice to think someone like Doctor Seuss was writing our life story. But we are the authors. If we waste all of our time doing a bunch of stupid activities, we will never have time to do things that actually matter. Love is important. People should not waste their time on love that will not last.
Delete"Love... Love is like oxygen. Love lifts us up to where we belong. All you need is love." - Moulin Rouge
ReplyDeleteLove can be found through every aspect of life. Whether it is found from sibling to sibling, father to son, mother to daughter, friend to friend, and so forth. Love ultimately has control on the world. Not all love is joy and happiness, and not all love causes pain and anguish. Love comes in many different forms and in unexpected times. John Steinbeck's son wrote him a letter explain his new found love. Steinbeck wrote as soon as he read it because love " that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone." He replies with joy and compassion giving advice and information to help determine if his deep love is real. The response his son will receive shows the readers that their personal relationship is love, though a different type, portraying that if you truly love a person, you will rejoice in their happiness. Because love is not selfish, love is kind.
If I was in college and I fell deeply in love, my parents would act similarly to that of Steinbeck and his wife. My parents would support me and advise me on love. My father would be like most fathers and make me aware of "boundaries" and make sure I would be slightly embarrassed. My mother would show enthusiasm and compassion. I believe both my parents would advise me, guide me, and hound me with questions. Above all they would be happy with me because love is a wonderful gift all will come to know.
Real love and puppy love are both versions of love but with a deep meaning. Real love is love shared equally between to people where they come to love flaws and personalities each and everyday. Real love is only something that is felt, two people who are truly happy would not be able to explain the feelings they have. Puppy love, to me, is relationships between people who have no desire or cannot see themselves with the person for the rest of their lives. I relate this greatly to infatuations. Infatuations are often confused with actual love. I believe infatuations are what most young loves are. However, I believe it is possible for young love to become true love. I have witnessed many couples date through high school and get married a few years later. Most loves start as infatuations or young love. The person feels an attractions which makes them want to know the person better. If the two come to know each other, then chances are they will come to find their true love.
Love is a precious gift that appears at the most random time to two people. Love has the power to control and define a person. This true love grows each and everyday. The beginning quote is from one of my most favorite movies, Moulin Rouge. This quote shows the importance of love in life and the importance of love in the world.